You Have to Believe You’re “Dat Girl” Before Anyone Else Will

Before anyone else believes in you, you have to believe you’re Dat Girl.

You have to know, deep within yourself, that you are wonderfully made in God’s image. You have to believe that every table you sit at, every room you walk into, and every project you lead is better because you’re there. Not because you’re trying to be someone else, but because you bring something no one else can.

It took me years to understand that I was different.

I don’t think I truly came to that realization until I was about thirty. Then it took me several more years to accept that being different wasn’t something to hide—it was something to embrace.

Today, I believe we’re all special in our own way. We each have gifts, perspectives, and experiences that no one else possesses. But for a long time, that was difficult for me to believe about myself.

The interesting part is that I always felt it.

There was this quiet knowing that there was something unique about my purpose. But because I was young, insecure, and seeking validation from others, I started questioning myself. At one point, someone told me I had “illusions of grandeur.” Those words stayed with me longer than they should have. I wondered if I might have thought too highly of myself. Maybe I needed to shrink. Maybe confidence looked like arrogance.

It took time to realize there is a difference between arrogance and assignment.

Arrogance says you’re better than everyone else.

Purpose says you were created to do something only you can do.

Once I stopped apologizing for who I was and started carrying myself like “Dat Girl,” something shifted.

I became her.

Not overnight, but decision by decision. Conversation by conversation. Opportunity by opportunity. I stopped introducing myself with hesitation. I stopped waiting for permission to own my accomplishments. I stopped minimizing my dreams to make other people comfortable.

People respond to the energy you put into the world.

For years, I was introducing people to the scared little girl from Mississippi trying to figure out how to navigate big-city rooms. That was the version of me they met because that’s the version I believed.

But when I began showing up as the CEO, the visionary, the leader, and the woman God created me to be— Dat Girl- people responded differently. They trusted me more. Opportunities grew. My confidence became contagious.

The truth is, you have to become her before the world recognizes her.

You don’t wait until you feel qualified. You don’t wait until everyone applauds. You don’t wait until the fear disappears.

You decide.

You choose to walk into the room knowing you belong there. You own your voice. You honor your gifts. You stop apologizing for taking up space.

Because the woman you’re becoming isn’t waiting for someone else to crown her.

She’s waiting for you to believe she’s already worthy of the crown.

CEO Chatter is Fancy Felder’s column where she shares real talk about business, visibility, and what it actually takes to run the show. Fancy is the Founder, Publisher, and Editor-in-Chief of SwagHer Magazine & Media and the founder of SwagHer PR.